Thursday, November 22, 2012

Day 12 - staying focused!

I just read a post entitled "Is it Worth It?" over at Redstar5......she's read my mind.

I have finally given myself permission to put myself first.  Day 12 is today and though I sometimes feel a bit guilty for saying no to others (will this ever get easier?), I'm focusing on sticking with two things:  1.  my 4 workouts per week at the gym with my daughter and 2. cleaner eating.

Today is workout #4 this week - so 4 workouts in 6 days - and I have to say I am so proud of myself for sticking with this!  Before I would have said - "so far" at the end.  Now, I'm just sticking with it!  Because I am worth it.  I need this.  Mentally and physically.

The second one - cleaner eating.  I had a conversation about food with my fiancé last night - but had to be a bit delicate on how I put things.  His recent surgery has kept him off the farm to finish up a lot of the outdoor he's been focused on cooking.  Not necessarily cooking clean foods either.  Lots of veggies included, but the food, though delectible has been too heavy for me.  You know, that mid-winter comfort food?  Hours of work, taste out of this world?  Yep, that.  So you can see why I've had to be sensitive to his feelings.

He's agreed to do whatever I NEED to support my efforts in weight loss and working out.  So, we've decided compromise is the best - I said - I love you cooking......if we could do half a plate of veggies/salad and half of what you've prepared, that would be the absolute ultimate!

So, here's to nurturing my relationships......and myself.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Days 10 and 11!

Day 10 - I'm thrilled to report that working through the pain in my foot yesterday and pushing myself at the gym was an epic success.  The sore muscles I had from my weekend workouts aren't nearly as bad today.  I did my second leg workout as well as some cardio (while nursing my foot, so no high impact), and am proud of myself, because 3 out of the 4 last days, I've worked out!

Day 11 - that's today.  I tracked yesterday's food as well as today's....left a blank space in for tonight's supper as my fiancé is cooking something.  He's getting great about being conscious of how much salt is in my food.....thank you Menière' if he could just get his head around what healthy, clean eating is......he's getting there, but I'd say he's still a work in progress!  Bottom line is that he's going out of his way each day to prepare an awesome meal and he is trying to make things both appealing and healthy.

Day 12 - preview - workout #4 for the week after work.......upper body, abs, and more cardio.


Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Day 9!

Well, last evening I spent most of my time in the local hospital emergency department.  I had dropped a shovel on my right foot about ten days ago and it was more swollen last night than it had been......just wanted to make sure it wasn't broken.  Thankfully,  it's not, and the emergency-room Doc told me to keep moving, but no high impact anything for a bit.  He said regular gym visits were a great idea, just don't run!

Well, not being a aspiring one, perhaps, but not one who currently runs, I guess I have a "pass" to not start running until I'm in better physical shape.  Works for me :)

On that note; however, I'm off to the gym after work to meet up with my youngest daughter again - today will be treadmill warm-up and cool down, lots of stretching and a killer leg workout, with a smattering of abs thrown in.

I'm really pumped about sticking with this!

Food is still really on track as well as is my water consumption.......

Monday, November 19, 2012

Week 1 Down - Day 8

Reporting in after a week of the crazies.

First, the best part - my partner of more than 10 years gave me an engagement ring for my birthday!!!!!!   I can't stop smiling :))

What better motivation than a wedding to get back on the wagon, eh?

So, his surgery went very well and he's well on the road to recovery.  Still being a bit careful, but he's doing so well :)

I went to the gym on Saturday and Sunday - and boy am I sore.....but it's an awesome sore, honestly - another great :) here!  Plans are to meet up with my daughter on Tuesday and Thursday after work (after school for her) for another two workouts!

Eating is under control - hope to have a bit of extra time to start tracking workouts and food on MFP consistently!  Will go there immediately following this post and track Saturday, Sunday and today.

Work/life balance is still off kilter, but right now, it's almost balanced.  Still working the two jobs, but at least I have set days at each now so that will help - we're in the interview process right now for my former role, so at least we're getting somewhere!

A short trip is planned to drive to Quebec City sometime in the coming weeks for a few days of "running away from everything!"

......and life is good!  no, make that great!

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Day 2 of 42!

Day 1 was stellar!  I got through a mountain of work at my old job, ate and tracked on MFP and came in within my calorie range, and spent the evening watching a hockey game with my sweetie.

Today, my guy is having minor surgery, so I am his chauffeur and nurse......IPAD is fired up so I can read while waiting for his procedure/recovery.  I also will be bring snacks with me (planned out, sensible, tracked snacks)!

When my stepson gets home from school today, I will head out with the pooch to get some much needed exercise and bond with nature a bit!

It feels very good, no, awesomely good, to have a plan!

Monday, November 12, 2012

Six Week Challenge! Day 1

Well, here it is!

1.  Today is Day 1 - Day 1 of sustained clean eating and nurturing of the physical me!

2.  I celebrated my 52nd birthday over the weekend.  52 is a great number!

3.  My youngest daughter joined my gym, so as soon as my sweetheart's surgery is over and he's back on his feet, we're hitting the gym together a minimum of 3 times per week!  In the meantime, the weekend was spent putting away the last of farm/gardening/porch equipment and furniture.  Boy can I feel it today!  The dog will continue to benefit from walks and wandering time around the farm as I stay close to home and look after my guy.

4.  Work stress continues with balancing two positions; however, I have learned to say "no" to new projects in my old position.......while learning my new one. 

5.  I will be using MFP to track food and workouts.....and WW (as I still have six weeks in my current membership).  I will also continue to blog more consistently, and post on my fave WW boards.

6.  Very cool thing(s) happened over the past week - I signed up for the Schulich "Bust a Move" for Breast Health Campaign.  You can visit my page here:

Go Breast for Success!

Thursday, November 8, 2012

A Time for Learning

I've decided that my biggest problem is volume....I just have to much on my plate......

I can normally get through what NEEDS to be done, but that is always stuff outside of taking care of me.  I have recently learned the following:

I NEED to be first on the list.

I NEED to get organized.

I NEED to nurture myself both physically and mentally/emotionally.

Starting Sunday (I'm spending tomorrow and Saturday celebrating my birthday and figuring out how best to organize the most NEEDY areas of my life!)......I will roll out my six week plan.

My Partner has agreed to support me through the next six weeks and he too will be working on his own plan.

Watch out world :)


Just realized I have a Scale Victory to share!   167 and holding!  So the cleaner eating is working :)

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Patience and Focus

So, everyone knows you need to be patient, right?  Good things come to those who wait?  That last one, well, I don't completely agree with.  Not in a weight-loss, getting healthier, exercising more kind of thinking anyway.

So, I have finally realized that I CANNOT do everything, not all at once anyway.  But there is no reason I can't put my head down, focus and put a plan together to start incorporating smarter and healthier ways of doing things.  And that's exactly what I am now doing.....and have been for the past week or so.

I have just recently been promoted at work, which means a huge learning curve.  Unfortunately, as I work in a large Institution, the HR wheels do not move quickly at all.  So, I have my new job, and until the HR Gods revamp an old job description, post my current job, hire, and I train someone new, I have two very demanding roles.  Clearly, once again I CANNOT do everything, but I am doing my best to stay FOCUSED and deal with the important issues in both positions.

So, I'm being PATIENT and FOCUSING on what I can do in the limited time available to me personally.  I know that this situation will likely be resolved by the end of November (if I live that long - LOL!), but that does not mean that it's okay for me to sit waiting and not do things that are good for me.  Heck, the stress alone, if I don't manage it and take control of my down time will likely drive me over the edge.

So, last week, I got my eating under control.  This week, I've been taking lots of fresh veggies, hummus, planned lunch and snacks and a water bottle to work with me.......and this morning's sneak peek told me I've lost 2 lbs since the weekend.  Judging by my waistband, it's not water weight, it's weightloss!

Next week will still be a "push-me/pull-you" kind of week, having to drive across my small city numerous times to be in two places on the same day.  The following week; however, is the start of my "new" (thankfully temporary) schedule - Monday/Wednesday/Thursday in the new role, Tuesday/Friday in my former role.......and this will continue for the remainder of November.  This will allow me to get myself back into a rythm AND GET BACK TO ZEE GYM!  I cannot wait!  Having said that, though, I'm not rushing into it, I'm being PATIENT while I work through what I need to do........

So, I'm feeling:
a)  overwhelmed on some fronts, but am scheduling my life to try and not let it overcome me!
b)  in control because of a) above!

Wish me luck!

Friday, October 19, 2012

Happy Friday!

Thought I'd share some of what's in my head right now.

There is a French saying "être bien dans sa peau" - roughly translated "being good in your own skin."  I can honestly say that I noticed this morning that I am not at all happy with how I feel in my own skin.  The weight and inches I lost has lightened up the fat areas on my body, but now they are loose and giggly.  I hate that.  HATE IT!  I feel like a bowl of jello that hasn't quite set yet.  It's ugly.  I doesn't look bad in clothing, it's how it feels that I don't like.

I've started really trying to focus on what my body is telling me and letting that being one of they main things that moves me.  I started paying more attention to what my body was saying after my Menière's diagnosis and it helps a lot!  With the Menière's my worst symptoms are tinitis and dizziness....once I start noticing them (I'm very good about tuning them out), I know I'm pushing limits - too much caffiene, too much processed food, not enough water, not enough sleep.......

Right now, it's saying, time to step back on the clean eating bandwagon, so 17DD here I come again, hopefully tomorrow.  I am transitioning to a new job (ie read working two full time jobs until someone is found to replace me in my current one) on Monday, so I am allowing myself to just coast on the workout front right now.  I will get back into a good routine, but with so many demands on myself, it's ridiculous for me to even entertain adding another structured activity to my life right now.  So I will walk my dog for cardio (and bring my camera when the weather allows it) and get through the next month or so.

Happy Friday!

Friday, October 12, 2012

Things are coming together!

So, a lot of people (most maybe) do Spring cleaning each year.  Living on a farm, that's just not realistic.  I do fall cleaning - and strangely enough am very much looking forward to this rainy weekend as I will be "stuck" inside for a good part of it and able to tackle purging exercises I've been putting off.

The TO DO list include:

1.  My closet!  I did some reorganizing and purging in the summer, but it now needs a revamp - put summer clothes away and organize and get rid of stuff I will never wear again.

2.  My sewing area - BIG purging exercise on the horizon.  I will likely make very few pieces of actual clothing for myself in the near future, so will share a lot of fabric I will likely  never use with my local Salvation Army store.  No point in keeping it anymore as it's been sitting in boxes and in piles for eons now.

What I am going to do instead is purge, reorganize (trip to Ikea in here for storage) and then start quilting again.  It's such a stress buster!

3.  My garage - I don't store my vehicle inside in the summer, but do store a lot of seasonal stuff instead, bikes, mowers, etc.  and of course every piece of "stuff" that the kids feel they're too lazy to actually put away (I think there are 3 or 4 coolers in there as well).  So I'm going to clear out my shed, move and store stuff from my garage in the shed and make room for my van.  I hate scraping windows in the morning (and have had to twice already this week), so it's definitely time.

4.  The office....well, likely that will wait for another week or so.


With purging clutter, comes peace.  Peace of mind for me.


Yesterday, I had an amazing face-to-face chat with my former trainer.  Boy I miss her.  Now that things are slowing down on the farm (work is still crazy mind you), I need to get myself back to the gym and back into a routine.  Yesterday, before our meeting, she e-mailed me my training schedule.....I'm going to do this solo (wish me luck on that one!).  But she's given me a total write up on what I've done in the past and organized it for me♥  Best thing of all, she gave me a diary to log everything into♥ and I will be checking in with her weekly to e-log my progress with her.

Who said long-distance relationships can't work?  She will be moving to NYC very shortly and she will still be my cheering section from afar:)

Happy Friday!

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Is life always a struggle?

That's the question that I've been struggling (?) with the past few weeks.  It seems that just when everything is in it's place, nothing stays put long enough to be able to sit back and enjoy.  I'm tired......I think perhaps that's why I struggle so much.

So, I'm doing something about it.  Yes, I know, I've said this before.  Likely I will say it again, but this time, I plan (see, I'm changing the wording here, I'm not saying "I hope") on finalizing a realistic plan and setting short-term goals that will be attainable.  The short-term goals will not be a measurement defined by that evil scale, they will be measured by my success with workouts.   Yes, I will still be weighing in, I will still be taking my measurements (note to self - take your measurements today please), but they won't be what drives me, they will just be the benefit.

I need to take care of the physical me.  I've been much more conscious of my food intake over the past few days.  I'm tracking on WW and MFP right now and finding that just doing those two exercises reinforce my clean-eating food choices.  For instance, after work yesterday, I popped in the grocery store to pick up some snack foods.  Instead of processed cr@p that I've been known to pick in the past (especially when I'm hungry), or cheese (lordy I love you♥), I came away with raspberries and yogurt.  I actually didn't even look at my usual go-tos.  Good on me, eh?

Okay, next thing - this evening I'm meeting up with my lovely (former) trainer.  She's going back to school and is no longer working at my gym......but she's devised the next step for my training and as of next week, I will be back at the gym working her program and logging minutes for formal workouts rather than walks with various dogs (mine and my friends') or strolls through campus (hills and stairs included) over lunch hour.

So, while I'm working on my plan, I will keep posting.  I will endeavour to keep my posts positive to help myself stay in a positive mindspace.

That's it!  Here's to moving from struggling to having willpower and stayingpower!

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Rewind, Review, Reboot?! Work....

Things are going okay in my world. 

Work on the farm - It's the end of yet another farm season and my love is working through his stressful season much better than he usually does.  My farm-related responsibilities are wrapping up as well....still have some financial stuff to deal with, but am getting there.

Work at the university is crazy as it always is, and I have a new opportunity right in front of me that I'm working through......more on that eventually, once I know what direction I'll be taking.

Work on me....well, as always it's a "work in progress" - but at least it's on my TO DO list and I am making slow progress.

This week - I'm getting yard work done and putting various things away for the fall.....sad, but let's face it, with the frost we got yesterday morning, this is definitely the beginning of the end for this coming growing season.....bbq season, etc.  What I'm trying to say is that I have not made time to get back to the gym at this point, instead, I'm working out in the gardens! 

I think the gym will see me retuning next week.  Next week is October......nice new page on the calendar to fill up with good-for-me items.

Work on my menus - that will improve over the next week or so as well, with more time to dedicate to being creative.  I'm eating as cleanly as I can, following WW's healthy guidelines and doing not too badly.

Work on tackling on-going stress in general.....well, as always, it's at the bottom of my list.  Once I knock a few of the top items off, I think I'm going to make a concerted effort to possibly put it at the top.

Weight loss is moving at an incredibly slow pace....but at least the scale is actually starting to move again.

Working on water this week.......and tracking.......and stopping to smell the "roses" that are still in the garden.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

......and, it's a wrap!

Yes, corn season is finally O*V*E*R!

This is such a relief, though it's with mixed feelings as I love corn season - exhausting and overwhelming as it is!

So, what's on deck for the rest of September?

1.  Take care of my sore muscles/bruises from a slip/fall I had over a week ago while putting one of the corn trailers on the truck.  Nothing broken, just a bit bruised and banged up.......and SORE!  Still walking a lot (yesterday) and today as it's raining, likely will do a stretching/Pilates workout.  Slowly and gently.

2.  Get back to the gym once #1 above has resolved itself - I figure next week - back to my old regular schedule which was Tues/Thurs and Sat or Sun. 

3.  C25K.  Again, once #1 above has been taken care of.

4.  Clean eating - already on that!  Water is something I could likely drink more of, so this week am focusing on getting MORE than 8 glasses in me.

5. that no longer fits, my sewing area, the office.

6.  Finishing - all of those UFOs around my house.

7..........Taking time to BREATHE!

Monday, September 10, 2012

One More Week!

Well, I'm now back to working full-time....and corn season has one last week until we close for the season.  Truly, I cannot wait for that to happen.  I'm tired.  My partner is exhausted, but he likely still has a good month before things will wrap up for his season....and then lucky guy gets to take the winter months off!  Yes, I am jealous!  But on the flip side, he's my rock when I'm working full-time in the winter....he spends some of his off time playing in the kitchen....YUMMY!

So, I'm down one more pound, and have been STS for a week or more now.  166.  Not a bad number, just not in the decade I'd like to be in.  I'm NOT going to stress over it as I know it's just exhaustion and survival that are making me hold onto weight, even though I'm eating exactly how I should be to manage a loss.  No biggie, it will come with time.

Next week, my first week without duties on zee farm after work, I will be going back to my gym.  I've promised myself 3 workouts per week....either at the gym I usually work out at or the one closer to home.  One way or the other, that's where I will be headed.

Simple planning is what I am going to use......not crazy expectations, just realistic ones.

Simple eating
Simple workouts
Simple living

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

These two photos were taken while driving home from one of our corn stands over the weekend!  Definitely a double rainbow......I think at one point, almost a triple♥

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

I'm Ready!

Took a few months off work on medical leave to deal with Menière's Disease fall-out.....I was starting to get Vertigo attacks and the dizziness was just getting to be too much.  The ENT tells me, cut down on CATS!  Not felines (thankfully, as I have two furry friends), but Caffiene, Alcohol, Tobacco (not an issue) and Stress....yupppp....CHRONIC STRESS.

So, fast forward to today.  I'm back to work, almost full-time (that will come next week), corn season is very much under way and as fun and crazy as do you see that Stress follows me everywhere?

So, 2012 is the year I get to goal.... That's what I say every January....."insert year X" is the year I get to goal.

Well, I did gain weight last spring.  I managed to get all the way up to 178 lbs again....goooood grief on that one!  I'm down now to somewhere between 167 and 170...depending on the day.  I know that I need to listen to what my body is saying and act accordingly and that's exactly what I'm doing.  I've learned a few things lately - how to walk away from stress and how not to own every single problem that pops up, whether here at the office or on the farm or even at home.  This is a refined skill that needs more work, but I now know how to recognize the warning signs and when to walk away (now if I could just always just do it automatically).

Anyhoo, I would dearly love to get my weight down to somewhere in the mid 140s.....anywhere between 142 and 148 would be lovely!  So, I have 4.5 months left of this year and 20+ lbs to go...totally doable.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Motivation in May

By George, I think I've got it!

Stop the madness!

Enough is Enough!

Pretty much things I've blathered on my blog lately.  Yesterday, I found out my daughter has some health issues - nothing that cannot be managed, but it took the focus off MOI and put it on one of my two lovely girls........and made me realize how many awesome things I have going on in my life and really, that I have little to complain about.

She'll be fine....just working through a few issues with her.

Work is craziness!  Seriously, C*R*A*Z*I*N*E*S*S!  Usually, I thrive in this environment, but with my health issues, worrying about my daughter, and well, I've just let it all pile up and given up on taking care of me.  That is NOT the answer.  NOT!

So, today, once again, is THE first day of the rest of my life.  It's sunny, which is giving me such hope!  I have no excuses, the things that have been getting me down will now be fuel to get me to make permanent changes - not just flirt with them.

Today - eating!  That's what I'm getting under control.  Clean eating - 17DD-ish eating.  I still need one complex carb each day and my one coffee each morning to get me going, so I'm going to do Cycle 1, but keep those two things in my day (morning coffee with 1/2tsp sugar and 1T half&half), and one slice of sprouted grains bread to go with either my breakfast or lunch.

Water - the essence of life.  I'm going to drink it!  Like it's my job.......oh, right that will likely change my job a bit.....I'll be working from the loo as my bladder adjusts to drinking water again (kidding!).

Work stress management:  THIS IS A BIG ONE.  I will no longer take work stress home with me.  I don't mind putting in a little extra time as needed....and if the extra times = me going home without stressing over everything under the sun, then it will be nothing but a positive.

Exercise:  Back to the gym on Tuesday with my trainer.  I'm taking this weekend to get my spring garden clean up finished and then I'll be formally working out with her 3 days a week.

Stopping and smelling the roses - coffee on the porch in the morning as the sun comes up.  Sitting under the stars in the hot tub in the evening......all things that will be back into my world over the next few days!

Thanks for letting me share this here.....

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Detox is a b***h - um, not my friend!

So in an effort to get to show on the road, so to speak, I've started cutting things out of my life.  With every good detox session, no matter how extreme it is, there are sometimes some less-than-desirable side effects.......I've cut out most carbs, all cr@p, and cut way back on caffiene (down to 1 per day from 2-5)........yup, I've got that dull, not quite, migraine thing going on.

So, I'm sucking it up - working through my day at the office and praying it will be over soon!  Unfortunately, it means I'm not going to the gym for another day....skipped yesterday because of my head....and today too.  Hoping to have my head in a better place, so to speak, tomorrow!

One day, one baby step at a time!

Monday, April 23, 2012

Another post about restarting yet again!

Have we ever seen a post like this before?  Yeah, like every month.....

I have to make changes now.  There is not options, I just have to do what needs to be done.  If I'm going to win the battle with Menière's, then being in the best physical shape (not just by working out, but by eating the right foods to fuel my body) is the only answer.

Back on track today.  I'm doing a clean-eating thing.  Mostly based on 17DD, but with a pet carb, and one all-dressed coffee to start my day.  Hey, I have to have something to get me rolling in the morning don't I?  I'm also back at the gym.  Five workouts per week, until the weather warms up anyway.  Nothing super difficult, but an hour dedicated to movement.  Yesterday was lower body.  Today and Wednesday are cardio days.  Tomorrow and Thursday will be upper and core.

Adding back in a LOT more water, and I should be good!

Wish me truly is the first day of my life

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

I did it! Day 1 done and done :)))

Yup, I did it. I felt great yesterday - how odd is that!?

Well, going to build on that. Today is Day 2. Food is planned......yesterday I browsed in the fruit & veggie aisle at the grocery store right after my workout....and picked up a lot of green things. Green is my colour this month! Asparagus, green beans, broccoli, celery - you get the picture. Oh, and the fish counter - salmon for supper last night! oh, and lefties for supper tonight!

I'm off to look at new BBQs after work tonight. I've got a line on a great deal at a local place on a ridiculous sale on last-year's's the "beast" of a 'Q! We just had Natural Gas installed in the house last week (goodbye Propane bills!) I'm going whole hog....nothing like NEVER HAVING TO FILL UP A PROPANE CYLINDER AGAIN - EVER!

Here's to staying focused and feeling better.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Bring it! Day 1

Wow, it's really hard to get back in the game. I spent most of yesterday wrapping up my little pitty party.....and I LET myself watch mindless stupidity on TV most of the day and puttered doing little things around the house on and off as well. When I said I LET myself, I mean, I gave myself the freedom to just "be." No "oh, I must do this, or I can't forget to do that." Nope, that's not going to help me cut stress out. I need to learn how to just "be."

I'm not going to kid you....doing "nothing" was really, really hard for me. But this morning, I had also promised myself that I needed to reboot TODAY and that whatever my health throws at me is okay, as long as I take whatever cognitive measures I can to stack the odds in my favour.

So, welcome to Day 1........this is "THE" Day 1 of Day1s......and those of you who have started, restarted, and started yet again, will understand.......this is IT folks.

1. I've chosen to reboot the 17DD today because it works for me. I lost and maintained an 18 lb loss last year.......I've unfortunately hit one of those bumps in the road that life deals us sometimes...and regained about 14 of it. NOT GOING TO LET THIS STICK! NOT!

2. Going to the gym for a workout with my trainer after work today.

3. Water....yes, drinking lots and lots of water (oh, have to go refill the bottle again).

4. Taking a lunch each day - yes, I'm going to walk as many lunchhours as I can every week so that I break the bad habit I have of sitting at my desk and either working or cruising the 'net.

5. Slowly ramping up supplements that I will be taking likely for the rest of my life. Don't want to start taking a fist-full on the first day, so will ramp back up to taking my multi, vit d, calcium for the first two days, and then add various other supplements that have been identified as being very helpful for this condition over the next week or so.

6. Stress's spring! I absolutely could live out in my gardens, so I will be making a date with myself for an hour or three of detoxing gardening/working in the greenhouse every single day. Nice thing is that if it's cooler or raining, I can work in the greenhouse and stay out of the cold!

This is day at a time.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Pitty Parties = weight gain. Pretty simple, eh?

Well, my handy-dandy scale, a good old, stand-up kind of scale, tells me I'm 173.4 lbs, give or take. Boy doesn't that totally suck...especially since I hit 159 on December 26th after two Christmas dinners?!

It's official...I do have Meniere's disease or syndrome. Google'll see what I'm dealing with. Right now, I have a-typical Meniere's - thank goodness. I'm NOT dealing with vertigo at all, but do have a lot of dizziness......and I'm very deaf on my right side, and the tinnitus is driving me well as the feeling like I have cotton wool stuffed in my ear.

So, I need to avoid a bunch of stuff, take some supplements, clean up my act, get back to the gym......I hurt my back in early March and I am finally going back, fully-committed to everything......bottom line, looking after me, myself and I.

Tomorrow is day 1

I can and will do this! I don't have a choice.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Refinding My Groove

Okay, so I've been struggling with, well, I'm thinking some sort of depression. I suffer from Chronic Stress, this has already been diagnosed, so the likelyhood of depression as a spin-off is very high.....along with worrying about the MRI and them finding something (the plan is to find nothing) has also been weighing heavily on my mind.

Add to that - two weeks ago I threw my back it's been a bit of a struggle to get some sort of movement that doesn't hurt into each of my days - I've succeeded.....I've found I can walk, so lunchtime walks around campus (I work at a university), and walks around the farm have been ever increasing.

My eating was out of control as well, this past week was stellar and I have a whopping 1.4 lb loss to show for it. Hey, I'll take it! The meds I take when my back goes out tend to make me gain weight, so if I can show a loss for last week, yay me!

So, sloooowly getting back on schedule. I know one thing to help me work through whatever it is that's bothering me right now is to make lists and cross things off it, so that's exactly what I've started.

Thanks for feels great to get this off my chest!

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Wow, what to write, what to write?

So, it's now a few weeks since my last post. Yeah, so I've wrapped up the little pitty party I threw for myself....and kept going for 2 weeks....then I threw my back out last weekend and the fun continues.

Why, oh why is it that when you finally think you head is in the right place, something "out of this world" (ie out of your control) comes along and derails you......and has a few of it's friends in the wings waiting to derail you some more?! Yeah, that's life, eh?

So, what to do about it. Well, really, is there anything I don't already know that I should actually "DO?" Um, no, I just should keep doing what I know I should be doing, and stop making excuses......that is when my back feels better. Um, why not now? Really. Eating sensibly is something I should ALWAYS be doing........

So today is going to be a better day....yes my back still hurts so much that I'm not going to venture anywhere near the gym for a few more days. But I have been doing stretching exercises every single hour in my office......and it is getting better.....slowly. I have been on three "strolls" this lunch time and after work. The weather here in southwestern Ontario is absolutely incredible for March - we're in the! I actually dove into my summer clothes today and am wearing a skirt with bare legs and feet! (note to self - get a pedi done, stat!).

Well, enough whining........

Monday, March 5, 2012 for thought, strength, and longevity

I had a very, shall we say, interesting week last week - hence the short hiatus from blogging.

I went for my audiology test and met with the surgeon......well, it would seem that I need more tests - next test is an MRI to ensure I don't have a brain tumour. Interesting how we go from "I can't hear well" to ruling out things like brain tumours? Well, it would seem that I likely have Menière's Disease - it's not a disease, more like a condition. The MRI is the help them narrow it down to Menière's, not actually them looking for a tumour - if there's no tumour, it will likely be Menière's and there will be more testing.....

Anyway, suffice it to say that I am officially a "dizzy broad" now. I've been walking around in a bit of a daze since all of this news on Tuesday afternoon - I have a definite loss of hearing in my right ear, with a full-feeling, slight tinitis (ringing), and I am slightly dizzy part of the time, okay, maybe more than I was conscious of. My body seems to have been dealing with the tinitis well, so well in fact that when the technician asked me if I had ringing in my ear(s) I had to stop and think about it - and of course now, it's all I can hear! Oh the power of suggestion. Anyway, that and the dizziness.....I have found myself dizzy on and off for a year or two - and have figured out workarounds for when it happens - I get dizzy on a treadmill if I look at the treadmill, but if I focus on the tv screens at the gym and get involved in a show, then it goes off......

I am thankful that I have not had any vertigo attacks, which I understand can be very debilitating and frequent if one is susceptible to them. Hoping I never get there.

So, anyway, this isn't a pitty party of any sort, just a statement of facts. I took a few days off and just cruised through work and what needed to be done while I let my subconscious and conscious self deal with things.......and today, being Monday, and a lovely fresh start to a new week, I'm taking this very seriously and planning.

Plan: Well, interestingly enough, and no surprise really, the healthier I am and the better shape I am in will help me deal with this and any and every other health concern/stress that life throws at me. I'm back.......and focused.......and I am going to get to my goal(s) this time.

First: Fitness - it's okay NOT to work out formally - any sort of general activity I can get going on the farm is a bonus. So thankful that spring is around the corner - We have 4.5 acres of lawn, oh, wait, no I have 6 acres of lawn now that my lovely horsie girl is no longer with us, that needs to be cut - who said it all must be cut on a ride-on mower? I have a perfectly good, old-fashioned push mower that works well too! Just add gas, check the oil and GO! And gardening - I can live out in my gardens and never quite get on top of everything - opportunity is everywhere!

Food - that's definitely what fuels this engine - if I put the "good gas and oil" in my mowers, wouldn't I do the same for myself? After yesterday's workouts, I did a great grocery shop - only the perimeter of the store (actually only the greens, fish, and dairy sections of the grocery store) and then to the green grocer's for the rest. I went home, cooked up a storm in preparation for the work week, made an amazing dinner for my love and I.

Chillin' - for me this is a bit of a lost art....I'm a work in progress here - finally making and taking time out for just me - I read a book this past month! I've taken up organizing my cross stitching again....and I'm purging my sewing area and have pulled out a project I'd like to finish in my quiting pile.

So, watch me.........I'm "ON!"


This week looks like this:

17DD reboot - Cycle 1, Day 1, Monday, March 5th

Monday - cardio at the gym
Tuesday - strength training (gym)
Wednesday - cardio at the gym
Thursday - strength training (gym)
Friday - cardio at the gym
Saturday - day off!
Sunday - strength training (gym)

I want to get one very SOLID week under my belt.....oh, belt, yes, I have a beautiful new wide black belt that I would love to wear sometime soon - you know, when it doesn't make me look like the Pillsbury Dough Boy cinched at the waist!

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Day 9 ...

So, I'm kind of stressed. Yeah, I know, I've mentioned it before. I have work stress, I have teenage dram-o-rama stress.....what parent of teens doesn't? Well, today, I'm going for a hearing test as I've lost a lot of the hearing in my right ear over the past 2 years - enough that if I sleep on my left side I sometimes don't hear my alarm. Alarming! After the hearing test, I'm going for a consult with the surgeon.....what I'm stressed about is what he's going to tell me. My mother and her mother (and now my younger sister possibly) all have/had profound hearing loss....inoperable hearing loss. Degenerative hearing mother has lost 80% of her hearing in one side and 70% on the other.

Workouts! I worked out 4 out of 7 days last week and went for a walk on one other day. My trainer has had me doing drop is all I can say - I can do THAT? Really? I never dreamed.....but I'm doing it....and I have the sore leg muscles to prove it. We've started focusing a bit more on upper body work as well.....and I'm doing my homework - abs at home!

Eating - well, I've been eating clean for 8 full days (except for the pancakes of course).....and, well, likely TMI, but I'm sure I'm not alone out, my metabolism is sluggish. I've had this problem on and off for years - oh, so does my mom and my other sis (gotta love genetics?!) I did what my sis suggested and bought a container of Benefibre..........waiting!

Still 17DDieting

B - 2 eggs, evoo, peppers, onions
S - yogurt and berries
L - chicken breast and roast veggies
S - yogurt
D - not sure yet

Water....gallons of it!

Today working on making it through a gazillion meetings and then off to hear/listen to what the doc has to say!

Friday, February 24, 2012

Day 5 - and inspired!

I just read a very inspiring blog - Heather's story can be found here. Thank you Helen for suggesting reading it!

I too have found that through starts and stops for so many years on what I originally thought was a weight-loss journey, that's really the whole package - an entire lifestyle change.

Not sure if I've ever written this before, and maybe I can find some photos sometime to share with you. I wasn't always heavy. In fact I was underweight for most of my life - until after my first daughter was born. Which meant that I spent 30+ years of my life being active, when I felt like it, eating well, again when I felt like it, because no matter what I ate or did, I was always underweight.

Reality now is that through stress of raising kids, getting divorced, working full time while balancing life on the farm with a blended family, well, I have never come first and my bad eating habits, along with slower metabolism, have won.....I am doing everything I can NOW to adapt to a new lifestyle.

Added to this, the love of my life quit smoking 13 weeks and 5 days ago.....he's been smoking since he was in his late teens and is now 51.........need I say more. He's doing well, but still struggling with cravings, horrible cravings, and is learning, himself, how to handle a team for the past week, we've both been working together to be more active and to eat healthier. So, basically, this means that this is the first time since I started WW and trying to lose weight 6 or 7 years ago that he's supporting me through his actions. We've agreed that we will be walking in the evenings when the weather allows - other days he's hitting the treadmill at home, and I'm hitting the gym.


One small frustration for me is that I've been on the 17DD for 4 days now and for some reason I've now gained .9 of a lb from where I started on Monday?! excuse me?

So, apparently, Tuesday's pancakes had a BIG impact on me.....and I'm all-the-more focused on getting back and STICKING with clean eating. Today's menu looks like this:

Coffee with half and half and .5tsp sugar (I've reduced it by half)
B - 2 eggs, evoo, tomatoes and green onions
S - yogurt
L - baked veggies with chicken meat balls
S - yogurt and berries
D - not sure yet, but likely fish with grilled veggies

Working out at the gym today after work
Minimum 12 cups of water

Official WI is Monday, so I've got plenty of time to turn this around!

Happy Friday!

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Day 4 and Holding Strong!

Thought I'd caught my stepson's cold this morning when I woke up.....hoping I was wrong - do not have time nor presence of mind to get sick right now!

Day 3 went very well - ate according to plan, didn't get enough water, did my abwork homework - ouch! 100 crunches!

Day 4 -
B - 2 eggs, evoo, peppers, onions
S - yogurt
L - baked veggies and tuna
S - yogurt and berries
D - baked veggies and chicken meatballs

12 cups of water likely...if not more
Going to the gym tonight - upper body workout with some legs thrown in for good measure

Feeling like my energy level is coming back up which is awesome!

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Happy Hump Day!

It's "middle of the week" day! Makes me wonder, though if it's only a four-day work week, which day is really considered the middle? I know for a fact that yesterday was Tuesday, according to the calendar, but quite frankly it certainly felt much more Monday-ish around here.

Last night, I ate almost two pancakes. I didn't need more than that, so I stopped about 3/4 of the way through the last one. End results: I feel fine mentally that I ate them (they were pre-planned), I feel a bit bloated (but that's okay because I stopped when I was full and didn't push to finish them), and I did workout and had a perfect day otherwise on the food/water/exercise front. See, my head is in the right space!

Today Day 3 of the 17 Day Diet and clean eating:

B - 2 eggs, evoo, yellow bell pepper, onion, mushrooms
S - yogurt
L - BAS with tuna
S - yogurt with berries
D - baked veggies with chicken meatballs

Minimum 8 glasses of water (I'm already almost finished #2)
Hair-i-tude Adjustment at 5pm - cannot wait - I'm looking a bit scraggly

....and HOMEWORK! Yes, my trainer has given me homework! So 100 crunches - 5 different types of ab exercises, 20 reps each.

Work is still very, very busy. I'm working on lestening the stress by keeping my head in the right place.

That's it! See you tomorrow :)

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

It's Day 2!

I'm feeling like there is HOPE! with hope comes staying power and with staying power comes success!

Day one of 17DD looked like this (now bear in mind I got up late yesterday):

B - 2 eggs, evoo, mushrooms, peppers, onions

L - none as I ate breakfast at 11am!
S - berries and yogurt
D - bbq'd salmon (garlic/lemon/lime/thai spice) with baked veggies (onions, peppers, broccoli, cauliflower, asparagus, a splash of evoo, and some greek spices)
S - more yogurt

I drank 8+ glasses of lemon water yesterday.
I walked more than 5km with my sweetheart.

Yesterday was a great day!


Back to work today and it's budget season (read stressful and lots of deadlines):
B - 2 eggs, evoo, peppers, shallots, mushrooms
S - yogurt
L - baked chicken breast with BAS (big-@ssed salad!)
S - yogurt and berries (pre-workout)
D - I'm struggling with this - it's Shrove Tuesday - most of my family is Catholic and we ALWAYS do pancake Tuesday for our kids........and my MIL. Hmmmmmm.

8 cups, minimum, of lemon water
Going to the gym to have my @ssets kicked by my trainer - first formal workout in 3 weeks - wish me luck!

Monday, February 20, 2012

Life is Good!

I find myself feeling really gooooood today. It's cold outside, but it's an absolutely gloriously sunny morning out there.

Why am I so happy? Because today is THE day! Yes, today is the day or date that I picked to reboot 17DDieting, commitment to working out, and generally looking after me again. I game myself a week after my latest vacation in Florida to get back into the groove at work, get unpacked, get organized at home.......and I feel so great for having given myself the time to do this. Good plan apparently!

I've been chugging lemon/lime water for 2 days now and it's starting to take away some of the bloat.

My start weight (yesterday) was 168.9. NOT great....but it's a number and I won't let a number dictate who I am. I ate ridiculous foods yesterday - that's okay - and with water and more veggies, I lost .4.

So, I looked back through my journal this morning - I did a half-assed attempt at the 17DD starting last February 28th (that would be 2011). I had no kitchen when I started, so that was a hindrance.....but I managed, with a lot of starts & stops, to get down to 159 by November. So I regained half of what. I have a plan.

Tomorrow - first day back at the gym
Wednesday - hair-i-tude adjustment
Thursday - gym
Friday - treadmill at home
Saturday - not sure yet
Sunday - gym


UPDATE! My wonderful friend and trainer wrote this on FB yesterday....I just found it a few minutes ago.....was she writing this to me? Possibly?! Was she expressing herself? Again, maybe?! It's so good though, so I'm sharing it (hope you don't mind Miss S):

You're right. It's easier to eat pizza then to run on the treadmill. It's easier to turn to ice cream rather than people for supporters. It's easier to say "F*ck it, I give up" then to say "F*ck this, I can do it." So you know what? I'm not going to sit here and try and convince you day after day that you CAN do this. If you don't believe you can, then you can't. That's the honest truth. Believe in yourself, you need to do this for you. If you don't want it bad enough, then you sure as hell won't achieve it. So take the easy way out and remain unhealthy and continue to gain weight because you can't realize you are the only one hurting yourself. I didn't say it would be easy, I said it would be worth it.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

I'm re-evaluationg...yet again

Call me the proverbial WIP! Yup, still trying to figure out what works for me, what makes me happy, what makes me tick. Sometimes, just when I think I've got it, something comes and derails me......

A different approach I've been taking lately is just to put my head down and plow through it.....not sticking my head in the sand anymore, just working through things. Life does throw crap at you from time to time and all of this stuff tends to build up over time and if you don't address it, it will eventually catch up with you.

My ex's father passed away girls had to face the funeral of their grandpa without their mother being of the nasty results of divorce. Don't get me wrong, I've been there for them, they've talked, they've cried......and I've been there. I went out of my comfort zone in the days prior to his passing and went to this hospital to visit him and his wife.....I am so very glad that I did - though it was a sad visit, it was also a healing visit for both my former MIL and myself. We spent over an hour reminiscing about old RIP Jonas, you will be missed by so many people who loved you.

So here I sit, on the balcony of our condo in Florida thinking, wishing..........and hoping.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

The Power of Commitment

So as you saw by my last post, I've come to the realization that enough is enough and time to plan and execute is the end result. Sounds simple, eh?

Well, maybe it really is. I'm a daily weigher...yup, first thing in the morning - I jump, okay maybe not jump, and I look at the number and it kind of validates the kind of day/feeling I had the day before and sets me on my way for that day. Some people can handle looking at the scale daily, and apparently I am one of those. It doesn't phase me. I'm happy when it's down, but I acknowledge the "whys" if it goes up. I've finally come to the point where I'm okay if it goes up....because I know that generally, I'm doing the right things to get healthier and one of these days it will start moving down and STAYING down again!

This past week - I've worked out with my trainer three times, I've been eating clean foods only since Monday and I will acknowledge that I can definitely do much better on water consumption. It's cold and I don't like drinking a lot of water when I'm not warm! Stress...well, work stress is definitely there, but I'm doing some fun things that I enjoy - Saturday night I made a baby quilt for my partner's cousin who is expecting in March. It was fun to just sit in my sewing area and just play (and darn it all, I forgot to take a picture!).

This next few days - more workouts, more watching volleyball tournaments that my youngest daughter is playing in (and cheering like a mad woman from the stands). More clean eating and likely a bit of closet reorganization and more sewing. Going to keep work stress AT work and not invite it to come home with me - a great way of that I have found is a good solid workout at the end of my work day.....

Off to Florida in a few weeks (less than 2 now), so am going to stick with my above plan until we leave. The condo in Florida is a place to complete destress and just putter...a bit of golf, long walks on the beach, some swimming and pool-side lounging. We shop almost daily for fresh seafood/fish and farm produce and just kick back and just, well, just be, I guess.

On the gym side of things - my trainer and I are starting interval training! Yes I am going to learn to run. Have even planned on joining the Running Room's Women's Learn to Run Program starting, guess now that I've written it down, it's going to be done!

Thanks for reading!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012


Enough......when is enough is enough. When is it we reach a point where we just NEED to make change.....embrace change......and then continue on?

Why is it that in the weight-loss, getting healthy journey we self-sabotage? And why is it that we slip up? Likely no reasonable answer will ever be had for those ones.....but I have had ENOUGH for now.......

Old addages are boring, but they are so true - Today is the first day of the rest of my life!

So I'm going back to the new me......the way I was for a good portion of 2011. Putting me first, both physically and spiritually.

Today - I'm eating clean again.....17DD-ish kind of eating. Not C1 yet, but that will be rebooted on Monday.

I'm going to the gym after work.
I'm drinking water again - boatloads of it
And today is Hairitude adjustment day!

A few goals for the rest of this month:

Get firmly into the 150s - I was 162 at WI on Monday morning.
Take time for me each and every day and do something nice for myself.
Get to the gym a minimum of 3 days per week.......use my treadmill or go for an outdoorwalk for at least 45 minutes at least 3 other days.
Water - 3L minimum per day....yes even if I have to move my computer into the washroom for a few days!

That's it! Enough! Succeeding at my goals will give me peace of mind. Simple, eh?

Friday, January 6, 2012

TGIF - Wow, January's First Friday Already!

Happy New Year Bloggers!

Well, I'm back. It's a new year. It's time for new things.

I'm still going to the gym.....I'm still eating as cleanly as possible - well, most especially since I managed to gain 6 lbs over the holidays! Yikes! Back down 3 already (since Monday) and plan on tossing the rest of the tonnage to the curb ASAP!

I'm struggling with a few personal issues right now - and I will share one of them with you: I had to put my horse, Miss B, down 3 weeks ago. Old age had crept up on her and unfortunately, there was nothing that could be done. Thankfully she slipped away quickly, so I pray she didn't suffer for too long......

The most important things is that although I will always miss her, she was dearly loved, she had a wicked sense of humour, and was a treat to have in my life.

So, one day, one moment at a time, while I get my act together and keep trying to put myself first.......I'm making a bit of headway on that one.