Monday, March 26, 2012

Refinding My Groove

Okay, so I've been struggling with, well, I'm thinking some sort of depression. I suffer from Chronic Stress, this has already been diagnosed, so the likelyhood of depression as a spin-off is very high.....along with worrying about the MRI and them finding something (the plan is to find nothing) has also been weighing heavily on my mind.

Add to that - two weeks ago I threw my back it's been a bit of a struggle to get some sort of movement that doesn't hurt into each of my days - I've succeeded.....I've found I can walk, so lunchtime walks around campus (I work at a university), and walks around the farm have been ever increasing.

My eating was out of control as well, this past week was stellar and I have a whopping 1.4 lb loss to show for it. Hey, I'll take it! The meds I take when my back goes out tend to make me gain weight, so if I can show a loss for last week, yay me!

So, sloooowly getting back on schedule. I know one thing to help me work through whatever it is that's bothering me right now is to make lists and cross things off it, so that's exactly what I've started.

Thanks for feels great to get this off my chest!

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Wow, what to write, what to write?

So, it's now a few weeks since my last post. Yeah, so I've wrapped up the little pitty party I threw for myself....and kept going for 2 weeks....then I threw my back out last weekend and the fun continues.

Why, oh why is it that when you finally think you head is in the right place, something "out of this world" (ie out of your control) comes along and derails you......and has a few of it's friends in the wings waiting to derail you some more?! Yeah, that's life, eh?

So, what to do about it. Well, really, is there anything I don't already know that I should actually "DO?" Um, no, I just should keep doing what I know I should be doing, and stop making excuses......that is when my back feels better. Um, why not now? Really. Eating sensibly is something I should ALWAYS be doing........

So today is going to be a better day....yes my back still hurts so much that I'm not going to venture anywhere near the gym for a few more days. But I have been doing stretching exercises every single hour in my office......and it is getting better.....slowly. I have been on three "strolls" this lunch time and after work. The weather here in southwestern Ontario is absolutely incredible for March - we're in the! I actually dove into my summer clothes today and am wearing a skirt with bare legs and feet! (note to self - get a pedi done, stat!).

Well, enough whining........

Monday, March 5, 2012 for thought, strength, and longevity

I had a very, shall we say, interesting week last week - hence the short hiatus from blogging.

I went for my audiology test and met with the surgeon......well, it would seem that I need more tests - next test is an MRI to ensure I don't have a brain tumour. Interesting how we go from "I can't hear well" to ruling out things like brain tumours? Well, it would seem that I likely have Menière's Disease - it's not a disease, more like a condition. The MRI is the help them narrow it down to Menière's, not actually them looking for a tumour - if there's no tumour, it will likely be Menière's and there will be more testing.....

Anyway, suffice it to say that I am officially a "dizzy broad" now. I've been walking around in a bit of a daze since all of this news on Tuesday afternoon - I have a definite loss of hearing in my right ear, with a full-feeling, slight tinitis (ringing), and I am slightly dizzy part of the time, okay, maybe more than I was conscious of. My body seems to have been dealing with the tinitis well, so well in fact that when the technician asked me if I had ringing in my ear(s) I had to stop and think about it - and of course now, it's all I can hear! Oh the power of suggestion. Anyway, that and the dizziness.....I have found myself dizzy on and off for a year or two - and have figured out workarounds for when it happens - I get dizzy on a treadmill if I look at the treadmill, but if I focus on the tv screens at the gym and get involved in a show, then it goes off......

I am thankful that I have not had any vertigo attacks, which I understand can be very debilitating and frequent if one is susceptible to them. Hoping I never get there.

So, anyway, this isn't a pitty party of any sort, just a statement of facts. I took a few days off and just cruised through work and what needed to be done while I let my subconscious and conscious self deal with things.......and today, being Monday, and a lovely fresh start to a new week, I'm taking this very seriously and planning.

Plan: Well, interestingly enough, and no surprise really, the healthier I am and the better shape I am in will help me deal with this and any and every other health concern/stress that life throws at me. I'm back.......and focused.......and I am going to get to my goal(s) this time.

First: Fitness - it's okay NOT to work out formally - any sort of general activity I can get going on the farm is a bonus. So thankful that spring is around the corner - We have 4.5 acres of lawn, oh, wait, no I have 6 acres of lawn now that my lovely horsie girl is no longer with us, that needs to be cut - who said it all must be cut on a ride-on mower? I have a perfectly good, old-fashioned push mower that works well too! Just add gas, check the oil and GO! And gardening - I can live out in my gardens and never quite get on top of everything - opportunity is everywhere!

Food - that's definitely what fuels this engine - if I put the "good gas and oil" in my mowers, wouldn't I do the same for myself? After yesterday's workouts, I did a great grocery shop - only the perimeter of the store (actually only the greens, fish, and dairy sections of the grocery store) and then to the green grocer's for the rest. I went home, cooked up a storm in preparation for the work week, made an amazing dinner for my love and I.

Chillin' - for me this is a bit of a lost art....I'm a work in progress here - finally making and taking time out for just me - I read a book this past month! I've taken up organizing my cross stitching again....and I'm purging my sewing area and have pulled out a project I'd like to finish in my quiting pile.

So, watch me.........I'm "ON!"


This week looks like this:

17DD reboot - Cycle 1, Day 1, Monday, March 5th

Monday - cardio at the gym
Tuesday - strength training (gym)
Wednesday - cardio at the gym
Thursday - strength training (gym)
Friday - cardio at the gym
Saturday - day off!
Sunday - strength training (gym)

I want to get one very SOLID week under my belt.....oh, belt, yes, I have a beautiful new wide black belt that I would love to wear sometime soon - you know, when it doesn't make me look like the Pillsbury Dough Boy cinched at the waist!