Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Wow, I haven't blogged in over a year.....

Reason - not sure there is one! There are many, many excuses, but no real reason. But I'm back. And my weight is up yet again - hovering just under 190 lbs. How can it be that I spent most of my life seriously under-weight and now, I'm so busy with everything other than looking in the mirror, my weight has sky-rocketed. Well, I know, some people would see 190 as a not-insurmountable starting point, but for me, it just has me demoralized. To the point of stupid, ya know? Some people may know that I have been doing two full-time jobs for almost 3 years - well, the time for that is almost over and it's with a huge relief that I am learning to let it go. I still have a bit of training to finish for my replacement, so I hope by the end of February it will finally be over. The guilt of not quite being good enough to do EVERYTHING! Seriously, though, who can do EVERYTHING - especially for two different areas in two different buildings at opposite ends of the city. I feel guilt, because I wasn't good enough to keep it going......but I know that's not my guilt to own. These are the things that have kept me up at night...and it's time. I know it is. We saw a sneak peek of spring.....then BLAMMO! Winter with it's snow, and ridiculously freezing temperatures returned. Well, I'm happy to say that it's supposed to be above freezing most of the week (closer to the weekend even more so).....so it is time....finally, for me to put me in front of everything else and get back out to the man-cave gym and recommit to looking after myself physically.